Insecurity leads me to question every decision I make in the parenting realm and in my marriage. I don't know about you, but I pretty much have a constant stream of "Do I look okay? Am I doing this right? Are they judging me?" running through my brain.
I let myself go on comparison streaks. I pit myself against a skinny 21 year old who has never carried 7 pounds of baby in her belly three different times. Or the mom who has these super well-behaved children. Or that sweet, funny yet not dorky, bubbling personality standing with legs that have a thigh gap. Or, OR....the mom with a "real job".
Insecurity is easy. I really believe it's our default. It's easier than trusting God. It takes less effort to wallow than it does to stand up and be confident in who God called us to be. It becomes our comfort item. We cling to it because we just don't know how to function without holding tight to our list of faults and comparisons.
But here's the deal. Every time I let insecurity win, every time I hold tight to that security blanket of self -doubt, I'm telling God that He didn't do that great of a job on me. When I question my God-given callings and talents, I'm questioning the Creator of sunsets and baby toes.
When we reduce ourselves to a list of pros and cons we reduce our identity in Christ. When, after pursuing God's best, we doubt, it's like painting over a beautiful mural with builder's beige. As children of God we need to pray and read his Word and be confident and encouraged by the message we recieve from communing with our Creator.
He loves us. Let that be our security.
Do you ever feel anything like I do? Do you struggle at all with insecurity?